Cupcake Kisses & Dragon Dreams (Dragon Guard Book 29) Page 5

  “You’ve screwed the pooch, Girlie.” Gram’s disgust was almost palpable and made Kallie scoff, “And now I’m hearing voices. Great! Just super-dee-duper.” Turning the corner, seeing even more of her admirers lining the side and front of the station, she tried to come up with a way she could get in the building unnoticed.

  Driving two blocks over, she parked in one of the ’15 minutes only’ spots in front of Cameron’s Coffee Shoppe, jumped out of her car and raced into the little café. Ducking out the back, she dashed into Harper’s Hardly Used Hand-Me-Downs via the shipping door and raced to find the owner.

  Seeing Harper, dressed in one of her eclectic, multi-colored, boho chic, flowing outfits, Kallie tapped the store owner on the shoulder and begged, “Please help me. I need a disguise like yesterday. I have to get into the station without being recognized.”

  Nodding, the tall, thin Earthen Witch laughed out loud, “A disguise? Girl, you need a total makeover, maybe even plastic surgery, if you think you’re gonna get past your ‘adoring’ fans.” The frizzy-headed blond raised her arms, adding air quotes. “What in the name of Marlin did you do?”

  “I screwed up, okay? I lost my concentration during my live show yesterday. I accidentally bespelled every man in my viewing audience with Gram’s True Love Spell, at least I think that’s what happened.” She shifted her weight to her other foot put her hand on her hip and tapped her forehead with the tips of her fingers, praying that her head didn’t explode. “If I don’t get into that damned studio, figure out what I did and stop the rerun from airing in like,” she looked at the clock on the wall, “twelve minutes and instead broadcast the counter-spell, this shit is never gonna end.” She stepped forward, placed her hands on Harper’s upper arms and gently shook to get her point across. “Please help me, or I’m gonna be booking an appointment with the plastic surgeon, changing my name, getting a fake passport, and heading for the Andes.”

  “The Andes? Damn, Girl, pick somewhere warm, at least.”

  Glaring at her friend as she let go of Harper’s arms, Kalliope searched for just a bit of calm and patience as she pleaded, “Please, Harper.”

  “Of course, I’m gonna help you, Goof. I just have to give ya’ a little shit along with it.” Chuckling as she walked among the racks grabbing different articles of clothing, Harper inquired, “Why don’t you just use a little magic? Seems like that would be a helluva lot quicker.”

  “Yeah,” Kallie blew out an exasperated breath. “It sure would, but I’m a little wand-shy right now. Gonna try the non-magical way, just to be extra careful.”

  Good plan,” Harper snapped a finger-gun in Kallie’s direction. “Can’t say as I blame you. Now, follow me.” The older, much more laidback Witch motioned as she headed towards the dressing rooms. “Oh, grab that long blond wig and floppy suede hat behind the counter.”

  Doing as she was told, Kallie jogged to the dressing room, threw the wig and hat on the chair in the dressing room and disrobed. Putting on the clothes Harper had picked out for her so quickly she was out of breath by the time she slid her feet into the brown leather, platform sandals, Kallie looked in the mirror as Harper put the floppy camel-colored suede hat on her head.

  Kallie had to admit she barely recognized herself. She looked like a refugee from Woodstock, then wondered if she should conjure up a pair of circular lensed sunglasses to complete the outfit.

  No magic, Dingbat. With your luck, you’ll reincarnate John Lennon or Janis Joplin. How in Hades would you explain that? And…Calysta would kill you.

  Spinning towards her friend, she hugged Harper, happier than she’d ever been that her friend had been stuck in the seventies long before it was cool. “Thank you so much, Harp. You really are the best.”

  “No need for thanks. Just get your ass in there and stop the Love Fest. Free love is cool, but highly overrated and you damn sure don’t want Calysta or Goddess forbid, the Council coming after your happy heinie.”

  “You got that shit right, Sister.” Giving Harper another quick hug, Kallie ducked out of the dressing room, out the shipping door, back through the coffee shop and into her car.

  Pulling into the underground garage, she dodged more of her admirers, overjoyed when they didn’t even give her a second look. Parking in one of the secretary’s spots in the farthest corner of the structure, Kallie used all her mirrors to be sure no one was coming her way. Letting out the breath she’d been holding when she saw she was all alone, she got out, straightened her striped peasant top, the plethora of beaded leather chains, hemp necklaces and clunky charms around her neck, stuck her keycard in the back pocket of her bell-bottom jeans and pulled the floppy brim of her hat further down over her face.

  Pushing her door shut, she hit the button to lock them on her key fob before stowing it in her front pocket and heading towards the elevator. Answer the question, ‘Do you know Kalliope?’ at least a hundred times in the thirty seconds she stood waiting for the lift, the newly-blond, seriously freaked out Witch pounced as soon as the tall silver doors opened, immediately pushing the button that would close the door and only breathing when she was safely locked inside.

  Exiting on her floor and running right into Derek and Pete, two of the biggest burliest ex-marines the world had ever known, who also happened to be Grizzly bears in their other forms, Kallie ripped off her hat and wig and smiled, “Just me, trying to clean up the cluster-fuck I created,”

  “Thank God.” Derek’s baritone exclamation nearly rumbled the wall right before his cohort laughed, “Damn Girl, you’ve whipped up some cantankerous magic.”

  Giving the two bear shifters the best ‘no-shit’ look she could muster, Kallie flittered her fingers as she rolled her eyes and groaned, “Don’t I know it. Losing my touch in my old age.” Shaking her head, she added, “May I pass, gentlemen?”

  Stepping to the side and motioning like they were the door attendants at the Ritz, Derek and Pete sing-songed in unison, “Your wish is our command.”

  “Ha. Ha. Ha.” She stomped away, adding over her shoulder, “Y’all are so funny.”

  Striding down the hall completely unnoticed, Kallie breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped into her dressing room and shut the door. Crossing the room, her butt had just landed in her seat when a deep, grumbling whisper made the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

  “Kalliope Jane Sugarbaker, what a pleasure to meet you.”

  Not wanting to turn around, but desperately needing to see who or what sounded like James Earl Jones playing Darth Vader – mask and all – and also knew her name, Kallie looked in the mirror and stared at the shadow just over her right shoulder. Praying it was just her imagination once again running away with her, she was just about to look away when out of the darkness walked a man, or at least he looked like a man, that had to be at least seven-and-a-half feet tall – and that was before the horns on his heads.

  Horns? The dude really has horns. Or are they antlers? Yeah, maybe their antlers. Hell, I don’t know. They look like the freaking pointy things that come out of a big, ole male deer’s head. What. The. Hell?

  Not wanting to speak, but feeling the pregnant pause, Kallie had to try twice to find her voice and when she did it still was little more than a squeak when she asked, “Do I know you?”

  Laughing, the sound kinda warm and inviting, which went with his gorgeous face, long dirty blond hair and beard, and well-toned body, the horned man replied, “We never met personally. I knew a distant relative of yours and her sisters and have waited nearly four millenia to make your acquaintance.”

  Suddenly uneasy, well, creeped out was more like it and needing to get out of her dressing room and away from ‘dude with horns’, Kallie slowly turned in her chair and asked, “Well, now that you’re here, can I ask your name?”

  She hated the tremble in her voice. It made her feel weak and scared, two things she didn’t need to be feeling when facing some big ass dude who could run her through with his antlers.

 
“But of course,” he smiled, taking another step forward and holding out his hand. “I am Cernunnos, the horned god of the Celtic Pantheon. By the powers bestowed upon me by the Dagna, the Leader of the Celtic Gods, I am the God of Fertility, Wealth and Wild Animals.”

  Feeling how very proud he was of his title and wondering what all of it had to do with her, Kalliope shoved her fear aside, grabbed ahold of her magic and sassy wit with both hands and got to her feet. Taking a step forward, sure to stand tall and look Cernunnos in the eye, she quipped, “Well, it’s nice to meet you, and if you’re here to give me a bag of money or gold or whatever, that’s cool. But I’m not ready for children, and I most definitely don’t want any wild animals.”

  Taking another step forward and putting one hand on her hips while pointing towards the door with the other, she continued, “As you may have seen, I’ve got a little situation to handle. So, if you don’t mind heading back to wherever you can from, I’d be happy to hear your history lesson another day.”

  Closing the distance between them in the blink of an eye, Cernunnos grabbed her outstretched hand, looked her right in the eye and announced, “The day has come, and you are mine.”

  Pulling her hand back as hard as she could, Kalliope was just about to tell the horned god that he could shove his antlers up his ass when Cernunnos added, “Tá tú faoi cheangal dom.”

  “What the…?” Were the only words Kallie got out of her mouth before the spell the horned god had uttered took effect. The words he’d spoken in Gaelic echoed through her mind in English as she fought against the blanket of unbreakable, celestial magic fell over her.

  Bound to me. This mother-fluffin’ piece of deer poop thinks I’m gonna be bound to him? Not only no, but oh hell no, Dipshit.

  Pushing every ounce of her familial magic against the iron wall of Cernunnos’ mysticism, Kalliope tried to move her lips, lift her foot and kick the bastard in the gut, do anything to stop him from leading her away from her dressing room towards the stairs at the end of the hall. Of course, as her luck would have it, nothing worked, making her a walking, life-sized, curvier than most Barbie doll.

  Sliding her eyes side-to-side as she was forced to follow the dickhead god, Kallie saw each and every one of her coworkers standing around like they were mannequins in Macy’s window. Suddenly, it all made sense. The horned asshole had put them all under some kind of spell before she’d arrived. He’d even been smart enough to leave Derek and Pete out of it as not to arouse her suspicions.

  Dammit all, Grams always said my mouth was gonna write checks my ass couldn’t cash. Did she have to be right today?

  Clomping down the stairs, wondering why Cernunnos the Creep wasn’t just snapping his fingers and transporting them to whatever heinous hangout he had in this realm, Kallie wanted to punch the asshole in the mouth when he answered her question. “That is quite simple. Your Grand Priestess, Calysta, is extremely powerful, especially with her sister by her side and all her loyal little followers.”

  He stopped, turned towards Kallie and smiled, “And we wouldn’t want her sensing my magic and ruining all our plans, now would we?”

  “Just wait, Cernie, my boy.” She telepathically sassed. “What plans? What the hell is going on? You better let me go, not only is Calysta gonna kick your ass, but I know for a fact that her mate, the guy known as the Mad Dragon, takes shit from no one.”

  Throwing back his head and laughing out loud, Cernunnos dropped the bomb of all bombs on Kallie as he smirked like the friggin’ cat that ate the poor little canary. “Our plans,” he winked, “are to be wed as soon as the third quarter moon is at its highest point in the night sky.” He leaned forward, finishing his proclamation by whispering, “Which is in exactly ninety-four hours, give or take thirty minutes.”

  More pissed off than she could ever remember being and just about to go supernova because she couldn’t do anything about it, Kalliope summoned all the magic she could find, fashioned it into a fiery ball the likes of which Lucifer himself would be proud and blasted old Cernunnos right out of his little leather loincloth. Free from his magic, she raced the few steps up to the fourth floor, raced past all the staring people in the advertising department and jumped into the first available elevator.

  Beating the door like she was playing pinball, she pounded her fists on the doors until they slid open and promptly ran right into the broadest, hardest chest she’d ever encountered. Looking up, ready to ream whoever had stopped her from escaping the lunatic god trying to marry her, Kallie’s jaw fell open, and her eyes felt like they were going to bug out of her head.

  Taking a step back, she furiously shook her head, and she pointed, “You are… What the…? How can…? No effing way…”

  With her heart racing so loud and fast she was sure it was gonna blow, her oxygen levels falling dangerously low because she couldn’t breathe, and her hand shaking like a leaf on a tree from seeing the man from her dream standing right before her, Kallie threw her hands out in front of her as she began to fall forward. Large, hot, definitely capable hands grabbed her arms. Electricity shot through her body. Flashes of light burst behind her eyes. Her soul latched onto the gorgeous man before her, and her magic secured their connection.

  Looking into his deep, cobalt eyes as he lifted her into his arms, Kallie fought to stay conscious, refusing to look like a shrinking violet to the hunkiest man on the earth, at least since Adam paraded around the Garden in the nude, but the pull of the darkness was too strong. “Don’t you dare leave me,” she ordered, her words slurring together as she still battled to stay awake.

  Losing the battle, the last thing she heard as she floated towards unconsciousness was, “Never fear, Kalliope, your Dragon is here.”

  Chapter Ten

  A tremendous burst of magic had blown through the forest just outside the city. Even the animals had felt it. Stopping in their tracks, no longer watching the Dragon, they waited, peeking out from whatever hidey hole they’d crawled into, looking for the malevolent creature who had come to wreak havoc.

  Unfortunately, Murdock immediately recognized it as one of the gods from the Celtic Pantheon. Which one, he couldn’t make out, but the sharp bite that tore at his nerve endings was unforgettable.

  Over the centuries of his life, he’d met almost all of them either through Kayne, whose father was Lugh, the Celtic God of the Sun or in battle. Most were easy to get along with. Like sitting on their thrones in the Outer Realm and watching the poor little creatures of Earth go about their everyday lives. But, as Maddox would say, there was always a worm in the ale. One god or goddess who thought they could wreak a little havoc, raise a little hell, keep things interesting by mucking about with the inhabitants of the blue and green sphere, and it appeared that today was one of those times.

  Racing towards the building Brannoc had shown him on the small screen he called a laptop, Murdock’s heart and soul were flooded with Kalliope’s emotions. Her anger, no, make that rage, was white hot, overshadowing her fear and making her more than a formidable opponent for most.

  His mate was a fighter. She had what an old friend of his, Drákon - a true Sea Dragon and Companion to one of the Daughters of Poseidon, called chutzpah. Reaching through the bond they shared, he tried to reach her, tried to cut through the deity’s magic, but no matter what he tried his words simply bounced back.

  Listening to her thoughts, hearing her go through scenario after scenario, trying to come up with a way to battle the god, Murdock knew the second that Kalliope had come up with a plan she thought would work. Doubling his speed, knowing what she was about to do would stun the god, but also drain her magic leaving her defenseless, the Guardsman had finally breathed a sigh of relief when the large silver doors opened, and there was his mate.

  Wrapping them both in the cloak of his own pure, white Dragon magic, Murdock raced unseen from the huge concrete structure, out of the city and back into the forest. Stopping only when he was back at the cottage, he laid her on the couch, covered he
r with the softest quilt he could find and immediately sought help.

  “Doxie. Doxie, are ye there?”

  “I’m here. What’s wrong, Dock?”

  “Come to the cottage and bring yur Calysta. Me mate is here, and she’s injured.”

  “Mate?” The Mad Dragon barked. “You found your mate, already? You’ve only been out of the water for what…two days?”

  “Three, but who’s counting? Are ye comin’ or no?” Murdock heard the brogue in his voice deepen, felt his frustration and impatience growing by leaps and bounds the longer Kalliope lay unresponsive on the couch. All he needed was some help, and if the Mad Dragon and his mate wouldn’t help, Murdock would just call Niall. The Elder Dragon had been the Healer of the Clan for centuries, after all.

  “We’re coming,” Maddox snapped. “Keep your damned scales on, will ya’?”

  Turning his focus back to his mate, Murdock gently reached out, slowly letting his fingers tangle with hers. The sheer magnitude of their connection skittered like sparks up his arm, through his body, landing directly in the very pit of his soul. He may not have wanted a mate, but here she was, laying before him. Fate and Destiny had done their damnedest to bring them together, and as always, They had won the battle.

  “What were ye thinkin’ takin’ on a god?” he asked, knowing she couldn’t hear him. “And which one was it? No matter how I tried, I couldn’t get a clear picture even when ye broke his spell.”

  Leaning forward, he brushed the stray hairs from her cheeks, grinning at the tiny freckles dancing across her face. Everything about his Kalliope was perfect. Now, all he needed was to get her awake and find out whose ass he had to kick.

  Opening his senses wide, he searched for the deity. Following the lingering trails of his magic, Murdock was just about to get a clear picture of which Celtic god had had the nerve to attack Kalliope when the door to the cottage burst open, and in poured Maddox, Calysta, Brannoc, Pearce and Declan, along with a younger Guardsman Murdock had never met.